How To Cope When You’re Overwhelmed

Stress has undeniably always been a part of life. Good stress or “eustress” can be beneficial and motivating. However, stress that feels unmanageable can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. Below are some strategies to help positively cope with stress.

Identify Sources of Stress

Finding the source(s) of the problem can help you more effectively cope with it. Ask yourself why, when, where did/do your feelings of being overwhelmed occur? The intention is to identify what has changed. Is it your amount of work, a shift in relationships, or a change of environment? The possible sources of stress are as dynamic as the moving pieces of your life. 

Controllable Vs. Uncontrollable Factors

You may be spending energy trying to control things that are not actually in your control. This can cause a sense of learned helplessness and negative behavioral functioning. Identify what sources of your stress are within your control. And then start small and SMART.

SMART Goals

SMART is an acronym for setting goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time limited. The idea is to develop small, realistic goals that can help you feel a sense of accomplishment as you check them off towards your larger goal. Viewing a mountain from its base can be overwhelming. Rather, focus your attention on each step. This can be helpful for task-oriented stressors. 

Cognitive Strategies

Monitor thoughts that arise when you are feeling overwhelmed. Are they self-disparaging, exaggerated, or harmful? Is your inner-dialogue actually an inner-critic? Challenging negative automatic thoughts is a technique used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). It is a process of recognizing, evaluating, and refuting negative self-talk. CBT can help process and change deeply held core-beliefs that develop through our lifespan. (Contact me for a free consultation to discuss if CBT is a good fit for you.)

Relaxation Strategies

Diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery are relaxation techniques. Self-guided relaxation materials covering each of these are abundant online, and can also be practiced in therapy.

Mindfulness, while not a relaxation strategy per se, often elicits a benefit of relaxation. Mindfulness is the practice of observing your present moment in a non-judgmental stance. It provides space to observe your emotions and thoughts without acting immediately on them. 

Disengage Negative Coping

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, you may not be evaluating how “positive” or “negative” your coping skills are. You may just be trying to survive and get by. It sounds simple, but cutting out negative coping strategies can be challenging when they’ve become a habit. Negative coping can include:

Avoidance. You may be physically or emotionally avoiding a person, place, or conversation so you don’t have to “deal with it.” 

Engaging in risky behaviors to temporarily feel better, such as compulsive shopping, excessive alcohol or drug use, or promiscuous behaviors. 

False Control. You may be gripping tightly to control other areas of your life in response to feeling overwhelmed. This might include assertion of excessive control in a relationship, parenting, exercise or eating behaviors. 

Chronically Overwhelmed?

Is your feeling of being overwhelmed new or ongoing? If you have been overwhelmed for months, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. A lack of adequate coping skills, or an underlying mental health struggle such as depression or anxiety, can contribute to a chronic sense of being overwhelmed.

If you are suffering from acute or chronic stress that feels unmanageable, you may benefit from therapy with a licensed therapist or psychologist. Contact me for more information on counseling I provide.

As always, if you are in crisis please use emergency resources such as 911, your local ER, or the National Suicide Lifeline: 800-273-8255